THE DINNER TABLE

It was late 2017, and my boss of 6 years came to me and gave me the opportunity of a lifetime.

She asked if I’d be interested in growing a newly launched division in Canada for a billion-dollar management consulting arm of a $7 billion organization.

I jumped at the opportunity.

But there was only one problem:

It meant I would have to leave the team that I had spent years building.

I knew that those relationships would change overnight – and that feeling didn’t sit well.

What if the circumstances were different?

What if my boss had come to me with news of my role no longer being “relevant”?

That’s when I realized what had to happen.

I had to focus on building a community of like-minded people with hopes of growing together regardless of where I chose to work.

Here’s how I managed to build my community, find business partners and life-long friends, nurture them beyond the workplace – and how you can do the same.

How do you cultivate meaningful relationships?

Reading Ramit Sethi's blog, or books like Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi and On Setting the Table by Danny Meyer showed me the potential of intention and the power of meaningful relationships.

I wanted to let this group know how special they were to me.

How much I’ve learned from them. How genuinely appreciative I was for the time they’ve spent helping me grow.

But anyone could host a simple dinner – I wanted to show this group I really cared.

Planning Delight

I started by outlining who I wanted to invite and associating key descriptors to the value I felt they could bring to the greater group.

I also knew I had to elevate the experience the second my guests arrived.

Besides, this wasn’t just another “work dinner”. This was my “thank you” dinner.

So I took my lists of descriptors and started to think about the impact each individual had on my life.

I’m not talking about the work they were doing or the ROI they provided on a project we’ve worked together on – but what their story was.

Their value structure.

The principles they’ve taught me.

How much of an impact they had on my life

And the lessons learned while in their company.

It was incredibly personal.

Then, I took that impact and assigned a number to it and in a brief note below it, I wrote why I chose that number. It varied from the number of lessons they taught me – to the day we first met.

I then went to a print shop and turned them into hardcover placemats.

Next, I built a seating plan considering the potential conversations each individual would have with their neighbours. I knew that naturally, when the individual got to their seat and read my thank you note they would turn to their neighbours and ask what number they got.

It was an instant icebreaker!

My every action was aimed at minimizing any discomfort and enhancing the value of their attendance, including eliminating the uncertainty of seat selection— a decision they will surely appreciate later.

Once all the legwork of who and how I wanted to host the event was finalized, I used this sequence of events to organize an unforgettable dinner:

1. Planning the event

Initially, I had to consider where the majority of my guests were coming from prior to scoping out the best restaurants in a particular area.

On a night out, I would purposefully go to the recommended restaurants to host larger groups and see if it would suffice. Then, I would book a venue I knew would work 3 weeks in advance to make sure people could plan around it.

1. Picking the venue

Once at a potential venue, I would make sure to assess the space for the party size I had in mind. I focused my time on finding a quiet place at a hip spot in the city I was visiting.

I’d request a space away from foot traffic where people wouldn't need to speak over busy restaurant buzz – or have to worry about who might overhear their conversation.

1. Pre-fixing the menu

I would always pre-fix menus and include any other add-ons or special experiences the establishment would recommend given the purpose of the event.

Once finalizing the menu and taking into account any dietary restrictions of the group, I would ask the restaurant to send a pdf. of the menu along with pictures of the space via email.

1. Inviting the guests

I would work my way down the list and invite all the people I’d want to attend the event. By calling each person individually and planning well in advance, the majority would commit.

After that, I’d send them a meeting invite in their calendar along with the following email:

{name}

As mentioned, I’m organizing a champagne party for a bunch of friends and would love if you could make it!

The idea is that I will buy dinner and champagne at a nice restaurant for really interesting people to share ideas about life and business. I think you’re a superstar and it would make my day if you could be there.

So far, some people I’ve invited are: {insert names}

The Theme:

Good food. Good people. Lot’s of Drinks & Good Conversation!

Thursday April 5th - Dinner will be starting at 7pm

The Restaurant:

Byblos

http://byblostoronto.com/

11 Duncan St, Toronto, ON M5V 3M2

(Imagine & paragraph about the restaurant)

I’ve included the fixed Menu for your review (please note that all items on the menu will be ordered). If there are any special dietary restrictions or allergies please send me a note before end of day today.

Attendee list and further details to follow soon.

Looking forward to seeing you there

A couple of days leading up to the event, I would send another email:

Second Email Script:

Hi All,

As we gear up for this kickass event tonight, I’d like to share with you a couple of updates:

Dress code

Come as you are! This is a night of like-minded individuals coming together and enjoying each other’s company, so feel free to dress for a night out in downtown Toronto!

The temperatures tonight should be a cool -1ºC without any rain! Yay! Yes that’s right…I’m celebrating this lack-luster weather – we need all the warmth we can get! :)

Parking

For those of you driving into the city, I’ve included a map of the area and potential places where you would be able to park (highlighted).

(include map)

The dinner will be until 10pm so please arrive at 7pm to give yourself enough time to get your grub on and enjoy the company!

Looking forward to seeing you all there!

Then I’d send this video to recap my event and thank them from coming out:

Note: My intention in sending these types of videos out was a gesture of gratitude for my dinner guests. It's clear that the execution was less than ideal. But remember, It's not the small flaws that will linger in people's minds; it's the emotion and sincerity behind your words that will truly resonate.

Eventually, the people I met at these dinners became my confidants, advisors, clients and friends helping me transition out of a 10 year career in corporate and into a life of entrepreneurship.

The number of incredible experiences these dinners have offered me are nothing compared to the quality of connection I've been able to form with like-minded individuals who have become essential members of my inner circle.

Whether your goal is to forge a relationship with a potential client at work, find a mentor, or simply connecting with someone who shares your interests, the act of bringing people together without expecting anything in return can significantly enhance the quality of your life.